you learn now

glory-porridge is when you throw all the sauces you own, including jam, into a bowl. then you include it in your pasta and/or rice dishes, or you can even put it on a fucking cracker if you feel like it. you're the boss of you man

also sleepytime is officially one of my favourite bands of all time.


fakta netto fotex

shit. the music you listen to growing up really staples itself to your soul eh. i just listened to ok computer and kid a all the way through for the first time in probably 6 years and got massive flashbacks. it also happens every time i hear newer dylan. and petestrumentals. also de-loused teleports me into the basement in ottawa where kev and i spent the week when he visited. music is fucked. so fucked up. i don't love anything more. 

the two dudes that work in the print center at my school here are ridiculous. i was in there for three and a half hours today and more than half of it was spent laughing. 

i started writing my will for the fuck of it. i'm planning on living till i'm 98 but figured now is as good a time as ever to sort out who i actually like in life. if you read this blog you're probably in it. maybe you'll get one of my 3 non-garbage possessions. 

re-visited the life-plan aswell. things is looking good. sure as shit
justin's coming in a week. i hope i don't or do barf with excitement
i'm in a wicked good mood. 
i prolly love you

p.s. it's 8:12 and not dark yet.



burp burp fart shit farting shitting slapping frik
this tune is being such a shit. serves me right for spending money on pounds of vegetables instead of equipment. 

p.s. ross just asked me if i liked lady gaga. seriously. bad karma


it's the wrong time to lay it on thick as butter

a full week of self promotion proved real fucking tiring.
awolla paraphernalia exploding out my buns
got a flat so i dropped the shit off at a shop near the apartment. owner lent me his ride for a few hours. when i returned he hadn't gotten round to it so i says i'll be back in a few more. went back at 6 and he handed it over, then as i was leaving he opened a door to a small room with a fullblown romantic din prepped. he asked repeatedly for my company till i bolted. he made me promise i'd come back on the weekend to get my gear shifter fixed, which was bullshit. i got home and started to feel bad about the whole thing. what if he's just really lonely and his kids all moved overseas and his wife died in a plane crash and all he's got is this shitty little bike shop and his ride to work everyday is the most toilet of all bikes of all time and all he wants is some peaceful lady company after a long hard day of tweaking? then the next morning i hopped on my bike and the tire was flat again. therefor karma is a weirdo. or alls he did was give mouth to mouth to my bike hoping voodoo would set some lovin on. anyways other than that mild weirdness my week was 10/10. coffee god gave me mad grief but all in the name of science.

also last week at some point i wandered in at 4 a.m. dying for some fruit. ravaging a gigantic orange, a thick stream of juice spurted right into my eyeball. i remember thinking 'kay this prolly won't hurt as bad as i reckon' which was more bullshit. took a solid 20 minutes to get over it.

also this morning julie left me a note saying she was going to pick up a friend of hers who would be starring in the film she's been working her balls off on. i spent the day at school wondering what kind of smokeshow would be hanging in the kitchen when i got home, then it turned out to be a little white bunny rabbit. a real cute one. named poula. or something. kthanxbai

p.s. robinslice yera peach



camera can't pick up the glory that is these little fuckers.



blood fart

god is in the radio

went a bit overboard




pasta basket


well that was obnoxiously fun. two of us fucked our gear changers and were both stuck in our lowest gears for most of the trip. jose's breaks crapped out. one flat tire, one exploded tire, couple of snapped spokes. portia had to bus 10k of the trip cause a pooped tire happened in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. most of the way was made into the wind. first day we did the 45k to Helsingnør in something like 5 hours. second day ferried over to Helsingborg then 20k to Landskrona. third day another 45k to Malmø which took around 5 hours. drank a lot. sweated a lot. both the danish coast and swedish coast are beautiful. at one point i thought i was gonna have a heart attack from happiness while coasting down a huge hill with the wind behind us, sun was starting to go down, and these huge rolling hills and valleys popped straight out of lotr. fuck that was excellent. got lost about a million times but guessing the way worked out relatively well. no one bailed out or ate shit. ten outa ten.


my other ride is yermom

k here's the assbackwards plan:
tomorrow morning at 9am, eva, lisa, portia, jose, spain and i are hopping on our piece of shit bikes and biking the 45 km to Helsingør. It shouldn't take more than three hours according to spain. Then we're dicking around and drinking a lot of liquor and making new friends and finding somewhere to crash. Thursday morning we'll take a ferry over to Helsingborg, Sweden. more friends more boozing etc then off to Landskrona. Friday we'll bike the 50k down to Malmo and do more tooling. Once we can't take it anymore, we'll hop on the train back over to København.
i fucking love this plan. it's so half assed and guarantees lots of nonsense and make-shift rough-tuffin it. the only rule is to always keep the water to our right. i especially love it cause none of us have anything to mend our bicycles once they crap-out 20 minutes after we leave the city. i hope i get a black-eye somewhere along the way. fuck i'm excited. it's supposed to be sunny. all my long johns are in toronto. i strapped a camping pillow to my bike-seat. i'm gonna try to chain smoke the whole way.
someone call my folks if i die

p.s. i raise you 12 nougats and punch yer dumb cheesecake.


i'm here i'm queer

p.s. just kidding i'm totes hetero


friday the 13th don'tdrown in a puddle



p.s. i miss my broheim

"i've got a penis that can rip through the very fabric of time"

doodle update:

started a new course yesterday. project sounds wicked fun, except it's a class jiggy which i'm not the fondest of. hopefully no one gives any sass. anyhoo the brunt of it is doing our own photo essays then mangling everyones' together into a book, plus humps and details i won' get into. took a couple plics today. yesterday my prof said "trust your natural instinct" so i don't feel bad about being continuously sucked into train yards as usual.