4/27/09

i'm calm meow

tom
what the fuck. why does bullshit only come in huge fucking flaming piles. i'd really appreciate it if it spread itself out a bit instead of taking a dump on your face for 5 consecutive days. this is so tiring. bad enough rage hit the master fan at 2 fucking am, now the one and only time i've ever needed what's on my usb key has also been shot to hell. and the fucking bike i'm borrowing has a flat. god fucking damnit. it was all mildly funny for a while but now i'm just ready to scrap till death. i hope your week is doing light years better than mine.

p.s. fuck you 5pm isn't too early to start drinking.

still cunt get a break

sometimes days is good and sometimes days is BULLHEAP.
saturday night we hiked up our sporks for an afterparty at vega. was free entrance from 11-1. we got there a bit early and drank tallboys in the park across the street, and kind of forgot to watch the clock. so 10 minutes to 1 we trolloped over to find the fattest line of all time. should have followed my gut instinct immediately and bolted the fuck out of there, but didn't want to waste my belly full of beer on a boring bikeride home. stayed in line, 1am came and went, had to spend 60kroner at the door, whatever. got inside and got excited. walking up the stairs, bouncer fuck tells me i have to check my coat..sorry, i mean my tiny little leather jacket that could probably fit down the front of my pants if i tried. explained to the dickhead that i A: didn't have money for coat check, B: could just put it in my bag C: could just wear it D: probably would eventually want to wear it anyways cause i wasn't wearing substantial clothing anyways. fuckhead says "it's hot up there". fuck that guy. so i walked down to coat check then tried to bolt it back up the stairs but he snagged me and etc etc etc long story short coat check ripped me another 20kr and another 10 minutes waiting in a godamn line-up. more gut instincts being ignored. k finally got up to the fucking thing and line up to the bar was again retarded. dickheads everywhere. found nikolas from bunker night which was wicked, but i was still having a hate attack. stocked up on beers so i wouldn't have to swim up-stream again, and was happy for all of 10 seconds. had to piss, had to keep my rage in check once i found the 30 girls waiting in front of the bathroom. got in, got out, needed a cigarette. i'd skulled the first pint while pissing, was getting worried about needing more beer. in smoking section got harassed by this maaaad beefhead with arms the size of fucking watermelons. was alright at first, then started laying the insults on thick once i refused to give him my number. he REALLY didn't like it when i told him i don't even have a phone to give a number out from. whatever fuck that guy, got out of there. rage was now exploding out my eyeballs but again i tried to keep it in the saucepan. managed to enjoy myself for another 10 seconds then got groped by this huge german fuck. he reeked as though he'd poured a 26 of jack on himself. pushed him off then watched as he lunged for every single fucking girl in sight. he cycled back to me got real nasty then got a nice shiny clock to the jaw via my fist. i hope his face is broken. after that i made the executive decision to hawl my ass out. couldn't handle the line up to get my fucking halfsy jacket back so aborted it. lit a cigarette the second i walked out the front door, then almost puked when i found my bike wasn't there. i swore so much. probably more than i ever have. the walk home was brutal. smoked a pack and a half. you know sometimes you walk by someone with permanent angry eyebrows and you kind of laugh at them cause their lives are such toilet and yours is a godamn peach? yeah fuck you. beat the shit out of the paper bin in the courtyard behind the apartment once i got home. took 3 hours before i managed falling asleep. fuck the man. god what a trip.

anyways i got over it and jakob is lending me his bike and my screenplay is coming on wicked and i'm going to amsterdam tomorrow for queens day and yeah yeah yeahs and my fucking birthday so shit karma can suck me. i flip everything off except you probably. rainbows

4/23/09

cunt get a break

agatron ignoring me


karen o an elvish rock buttgodess

4/21/09

my music videos are going to have milk and explosions

4/20/09

wuuuuuuuuuugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj f u

toonie on thingy, fuckhead, moose, death, beck, hippies, beach, bunker, picnic, curdle sauce, alaska, awolla, howto:, 10/12, free beer, sunscreen, expensive beer, snoring, fredag beer, taktaktak, spring rolls, pigeon inbox, pig skin, fudge, street fighter, hobo fart, sunburn, crepes, bacon, box wine, broke ass bike.

p.s. happy birthday heimes







































video

4/7/09

tmj

had a super unsettling dream just now. i was walking along some open bike path in the middle of the day when a girl on her bike swerved off the path about 100 metres from me. it looked like she was drunk or just in panic hurry or both. off to the side of the path was a little hill. she shot up the hill then swung around and rode down. at the bottom, the bottom half of her body disappeared and she started screaming. i ran over and realized she'd fallen into a huge whole and was probably caught on something. her screaming was irritating as fuck but she didn't calm down when i told her to. i dipped my leg into the hole and tried to place my foot under her ass to try to act as a seat, to at least give her some support if not lift her out completely. then she calmed down a little bit, but was still breathing ridiculously hard and said "i'm sorry but i'm probably dripping blood onto your foot". i says "that's okay don't worry about it". we smiled at each other. then her eyes locked onto mine and all the blood seeped away from her face and her eyes, just for a second rolled back into her head and her neck went limp but then her head shot back up and she leaned over and started gnawing fucking furiously at my hand. i flip and punch her in the jaw, which breaks her jaw, but doesn't stop her from going at it with my hands. i can't shimmy my foot out, which is now soaked through in blood, so the disgustingly sloppy and ravenous battle goes on with her jaw flailing around and my hands slowly turning into shreds. that is all. woke up had a smoke went back to sleep and dreamt about snow-forts in ottawa. 

bonuspoints - punching doesn't usually work in my dreams. 

4/5/09

mandag tirsdag onsdag torsdag fredag lørdag søndag





friday was fredagbar at school. we finished printing cutting and folding the contents of our book by 3:30 then started drinking on the lawn. it was the first hot and sunny day of the season so fucking everyone was outside boozing. was extra pleasant

then yesterday morning i woke up and julie came out of her room and told me how Poula was dead when she got home the night before. Poula is the bunnyrabbit who's been crashing our pad for the week. anyhoo so we drove dead bunny back to the farm from which it cometh. was kinda sad. also kinda funny.

on the way back i told julie she could drop me off in front of the apartment then be on her merry way to spend the weekend with her mum. while julie drove off i realized i didn't have my keys. talked to my neighbour and he gave me some numbers for landlords n' shit and no one answers their phone. also cause i'm a total flop i don't have julie's number. also getting a locksmith would cost 100bucks or someshit. so now i'm staying at finland's for the weekend. had paper plane competitions last night. i lost

justin's coming in two days.

4/1/09

i'm preggo and you're the father

fresh x-acto

i don't remember who it was with that i had that debate about the beach boys, but whoever you are, i retract all bullshit. 

also i just almost dropped a butt into a baby carriage with baby in it for the second time.